Suicide, Depression, & More: Walking Through Difficult Conversations with Teens

In my New Orleans practice, I work with parents, teens, and families who find themselves facing a mental health crossroads. Some come with concerns about depression, anxiety, and age-related stressors. Others come with dire worries about self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Regardless of the specific issue, one thing is clear: talking about mental health with teens can be incredibly difficult.

As a therapist, I have seen firsthand the challenges of discussing such sensitive topics with young people. There are often feelings of fear, shame, and discomfort for parents and children. But avoiding these conversations is not an option – it's crucial for parents to learn how to approach them in a supportive and effective way.

The next moments following recognition are critical in laying the foundation for future conversations and actions. When wading into this delicate territory, parents should keep a few key points in mind.

Understanding Teen Mental Health

Mental health includes a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how they think, feel, and behave – and for teens, this can be a particularly vulnerable time. 

1 in 5 adolescents experience a severe mental disorder at some point during their life. Add in the pressures of school and extracurriculars, social media, and parental expectations, and it's no wonder that teenage mental health is spiraling.

Some common signs of teen mental health issues include changes in behavior or mood, difficulty concentrating or completing tasks, social withdrawal, and physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches. It’s crucial for parents to pay attention to these signs and have open communication with their teens about their well-being.

Preparing for the Conversation

So, how do you begin a conversation with a teen who may be suffering from suicidal thoughts or anxious behaviors? It all begins with preparation. This will help you stay focused and calm during the conversation. Here are some tips for preparing:

• Educate yourself: Before talking to your teen, research their specific mental health issue or seek guidance from a professional. This will help you better understand what they’re going through and how to support them.

• Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet, private space where you both can feel comfortable talking. It’s also essential to choose a time when your teen is most likely to be open and receptive to having a conversation.

• Practice active listening: Going into the conversation with an open mind and actively listening to your teen’s perspective is crucial. Avoid jumping in with solutions or dismissing their feelings. Let them express themselves fully before responding.

• Be patient and understanding: Remember that your teen may be struggling with complex emotions, and it may take time for them to open up. Be patient and understanding, and don’t pressure them to talk if they’re not ready.

Starting the Conversation

Starting a conversation about mental health can feel impossible. After all, you don’t want to say or do something that makes the situation worse. But your role as a parent – as well as my role as a therapist – is to help move the conversation forward.

Before you begin, think about what your goals for the conversation are. Do you want to check in and see how your teen is doing? Do you want to share resources or information about mental health? Or do you simply want to let them know that you’re here for them if they ever need someone to talk to?

Once you have a clear goal in mind, try these steps:

1. Pick a time when both of you are calm and relaxed

It’s important not to approach this conversation when either one of you is feeling stressed or emotional. Choose a time when both of you are calm and relaxed so that the conversation can be productive.

2. Use open-ended questions

Instead of asking yes or no questions, use open-ended questions to encourage your teen to share more about how they are feeling. 

For example, instead of asking “Are you feeling stressed?” ask “Can you tell me more about how you’ve been feeling lately?” This will allow for a deeper and more meaningful conversation.

3. Listen actively

It’s important to really listen to what your teen has to say without judgment or interruption. Make eye contact, nod, and show that you are engaged in the conversation. Repeating what they have said can also show that you are actively listening and understanding their perspective.

4. Validate their feelings

Your teen needs to know that their feelings are valid and acknowledged. Let them know that it’s okay to feel stressed or anxious, especially during this time. Avoid dismissing their feelings or telling them to “just relax.” Instead, acknowledge that their feelings are real and offer support and understanding.

When Scary Topics Arise

When words such as depression, anxiety, or self-harm come up in conversation with your teen, it can be scary and overwhelming. But if your child is opening up at this moment, it’s important to continue engaging with them and provide a safe space for them to express their thoughts and feelings.

Remain calm, and continue to sit with your teen as they speak of these difficult topics. Offer validation and reassurance, and if needed, seek professional help for further support.

Should you notice any concerning behaviors or signs of self-harm, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for guidance. Remember, your teen’s well-being is the top priority.

How Therapy Can Help

What do you do when the conversation doesn't seem to lead to a resolution? Where do you turn when you find that you and your teen are stuck in a cycle of miscommunication?

My psychotherapy practice helps individuals, families and couples to develop healthier communication patterns and find solutions for conflicts. Therapy opens the doors to a safe and third-party space where teens can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or backlash.

One approach of therapy that I offer focuses on building effective communication skills and learning to regulate emotions in a healthy way. This can help your teen develop more productive ways of expressing themselves and managing difficult emotions – which is a key part of parent-child communication.

For instance, if your teen tends to lash out in anger during conversations, these skills can help them recognize this pattern and learn more constructive ways of expressing their frustrations. We also focus on developing skills for managing strong emotions, such as mindfulness techniques and distress tolerance strategies.

Whether it's one-on-one therapy or family counseling, seeking professional help can provide both you and your teen with the tools and support needed to improve communication and rebuild a strong relationship.

Take A Step Toward Hope with Counseling & Therapy

At my practice, I help teens and their families navigate through the challenges of communication and relationships. My goal is to create a safe and supportive environment where your teen can feel heard and understood.

Through therapy, we can work together to identify the underlying issues that may be causing conflict and develop effective strategies for resolving them. I also provide resources and support for parents who may need guidance in communicating with their teens.

Don't wait until things get worse before seeking help. Taking action now can lead to positive changes in your relationship with your teen, creating a stronger bond built on practical communication skills that bring hope and healing.