Combating Low Self-Esteem Among Young Professionals and Adults
In my years as a psychotherapist and life coach in New Orleans, I've had the opportunity to work with many individuals who are struggling with low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can be incredibly damaging to our mental and physical health, as it can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, low motivation, insecurity in relationships and work settings, as well as a lack of resilience in the face of life’s challenges.
And despite our increasingly connected world, it seems that low self-esteem still affects many young professionals and adults today. In fact, surveys among professional psychologists and therapists reveal one of the most common mental health problems they see every day is low self-esteem.
So, what can we do to help raise our self-esteem? And what strategies can therapists use to help individuals struggling with low self-esteem?
What Is Self-Esteem?
First, we have to create a working definition for the concept of self-esteem. We all know that we have self-esteem (or rather, we know when our self-esteem is low), but what do we mean by it?
Self-esteem is defined as an individual’s overall sense of worth or value. It is a combination of how one perceives oneself in terms of abilities, appearance, and accomplishments, and it reflects the degree to which a person feels accepted or valued by others.
Self-esteem is an essential factor in motivating behavior, and low self-esteem can lead to depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues.
Why Does Self-Esteem Matter?
Self-esteem has an impact on almost every aspect of our lives. Perhaps its best to consider the benefits of high self-esteem vs. the risks of low self-esteem.
The Benefits of High Self-Esteem
When we feel good about ourselves, we have more self-confidence and are better able to deal with the challenges life throws our way. High self-esteem can also help us to:
• Develop healthier relationships
• Pursue our goals and dreams
• Appreciate our talents and strengths
• Handle criticism more effectively
• Make better decisions
The Risks of Low Self-Esteem
Having low self-esteem can be very damaging to our mental health. It can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. People with low self-esteem may also:
• Have difficulty making or keeping friends
• Become easily offended by others
• Feel they are not good enough
• Take risks to prove their worth
• Have low expectations for themselves
• Engage in self-destructive behaviors
• Have difficulty trusting others
• Feel easily overwhelmed by life's challenges.
Naturally, we rarely notice when our self-esteem is high, as we tend to take it for granted. However, when our self-esteem is low, it can lead to a number of negative outcomes and feelings.
We may become more introverted or anxious in social situations, which can lead us to make worse decisions, such as shying away from new experiences or giving up on goals prematurely.
The key is to recognize the signs that our self-esteem is low and to take action to improve it. As therapists, there are several strategies we can use to help clients develop healthier self-esteem:
Strategies to Boost Confidence and Overcome Inadequacy
Therapists employ specific strategies to assist patients in building confidence and conquering feelings of inadequacy. These strategies focus on understanding and changing negative thinking patterns and improving self-acceptance.
Identify and acknowledge negative thinking patterns
When I work with individuals with low self-esteem, I often ask them to step back and observe their negative thought patterns. It can be helpful to write down the thoughts that are impacting your confidence or feelings of inadequacy on a piece of paper. There is power in identifying and naming the thoughts that are holding you back.
Challenge negative thinking patterns
Once you have identified and acknowledged the thought patterns, it is important to challenge them. As a therapist, I will ask my patients targeted questions such as:
We've named this thought - but is it actually true?
Is this thought helpful in any way?
What would happen if I changed this thought into something more positive or empowering?
How can I reframe this thought and use it to motivate myself rather than harm my self-esteem?
Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk
Challenging negative thinking is only part of the process - if we allow ourselves to be stuck in negative thought patterns, we can end up damaging our self-esteem and confidence. To help combat this, it is crucial to replace the negative thoughts with positive self-talk that is more empowering.
Positive self-talk can come in many forms, from affirming statements to optimistic mantras. It’s important to pick something that you actually believe and is meaningful to you, as your positive thoughts won’t be effective if they feel like an empty platitude.
That is why we work together to create and implement strategies that will help move you away from negative thinking and towards more open, positive thought patterns.
Discover the origin of negative thoughts
Another helpful practice is determining where those negative thoughts stem from. Common sources of negative thoughts can often be rooted in past experiences or relationships.
Recognizing and identifying the source of those thoughts can help to better manage them in the future.
This process is similar to identifying negative thought patterns that may affect your outlook and mindset. By understanding these triggers, you will be able to develop techniques to disrupt them. In some cases, we can return to those triggers and address them directly - releasing ourselves from their control.
At the same time, it is essential to remember that worrying and ruminating are normal human experiences. So don't beat yourself up for having thoughts and feelings - instead, use them as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and recognize how your emotions can affect your behavior.
Practice self-acceptance and gratitude
Finally, one must work on accepting themselves as they are. There is freedom to be found in realizing that we can’t control everything in life. This doesn’t mean giving up trying to improve things but accepting ourselves for who we are even when our circumstances don’t change.
Practicing gratitude is one way to do this - being thankful for the small victories and blessings in life can help put things into perspective. Taking a few moments each day to express gratitude can be incredibly powerful for the mind and body, helping to promote feelings of positivity and contentment.
I will often help my patients to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is living in the present moment with an open, accepting attitude. It allows us to observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. This can help reduce negative emotions like stress and anxiety while promoting self-compassion and self-love.
The most crucial part of finding contentment is to focus on the good in your life. Try to be mindful of every blessing or positive thing that comes your way. Over time, you'll begin to realize that even the smallest of moments can bring joy.
A Path to Improved Self-Esteem
Record levels of low self-esteem plague so many individuals, and as a therapist, I often find that a big part of the problem is how we think about ourselves. We tend to focus on our flaws and shortcomings rather than celebrate our strengths and abilities.
By incorporating strategies to recognize and change negative thought patterns, practice self-acceptance, and pinpoint the origins of these feelings of inadequacy, individuals can begin to improve their self-esteem and, ultimately, their quality of life.
At my New Orleans practice, I dedicate my time to helping individuals from all walks of life to identify their unique strengths and qualities and to recognize the potential within themselves. Through various coaching and psychotherapeutic techniques, I am dedicated to helping individuals recognize and accept their worth as they strive for a more fulfilling life.
Want to learn more? If you are looking to break the chains of low self-esteem, I am here to help. By understanding the origins of these feelings of inadequacy, we can begin a journey toward a healthier and more confident you. Get in touch today to start your journey!
I look forward to hearing from you.
Dr. Eileen Wynne, PhD, LCSW